The gift
by crowskisses
Summary: Bonnie receives a gift.  It has a long lost time to Damon.  Set after "Midnight".  A stand alone or companion piece to "The Conversation."
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to VD :)_

_Summary: Bonnie gets a gift that has to do with Damon. Stand alone or companion piece to "The Conversation". Set after Midnight._

Author's note: Went where I didn't expect it. Oh well :) Also, if you love Bamon check out Michael and Maria from the Roswell tv series, they were the closest thing to hit tv after the books came out.

…..

She woke up screaming, coated in sweat, adrenaline burning in her veins and blind panic running her brain. She couldn't seem to stop screaming either, not as she heard the hurried steps in the hall, not even as she realized she was in her bedroom in her own bed.

Her father flung the door open, rushing in."Bonnie? What's wrong? Are you ok?"

She swallowed her scream with effort, looking automatically to the window. But it was empty, always would be now. She let the tears fall, pushing sweaty curls from her forehead with shaky hands.

"Bonnie?" Her father tried again, sitting delicately on the edge of her bed.

"Nightmare," she mumbled. It had been anything but, unfortunately her dreams were all too real these days. There had once been a time where she could convince herself that they were just nightmares, not anymore.

"Must have been a good one." A light joke, the usual ritual that had happened almost every night she'd woken up screaming since she was a child. "Let's see: screams, cold sweat, tears…now what are we missing?"

"Tea," Bonnie responded automatically, her role in the ritual to give her dad a weak smile. She let some of the tension drain away, "I'll meet you downstairs, kay?"

She walked on unsteady legs to the bathroom, splashing her face with cold water. She stared at her reflection: at her terrified doe eyes, at the tremble in her hands. She could hear the hushed conversation in the hallway, "She's too old for this, Colin. That's every night this week, we've got to do something."

"I know," worry coated the old lilt in her father's voice.

"Counseling? Maybe she's suffering like some of the girls from the school..." Her practical mother who lived in a world where every scream had a cause and every condition had a cure. The same sort of mother Meredith would be someday.

"I'll take care of it, honey. Go back to bed." Her father again, understanding that counseling wouldn't help what the McCullough's carried in their blood.

Bonnie glanced back in the mirror, making sure she looked calmer as she waited for the footsteps to recede. She opened the door into the dark hallway, she tensed automatically even with the strong bathroom light at her back.

'Don't look past the light, you can do it, Bonnie.' A small inner mantra that was going to keep her from locking herself in the brightly light bathroom. Another deep breath, she knew just how ridiculous she was, and a sprint down the stairs.

She made it into the brightly lit kitchen without once glancing into the inky darkness and she counted it a small triumph. Her father quirked an eyebrow at her triumphant smile as he handed her a mug of tea.

"That was quick." She followed him into the family room, sinking into her favorite love seat.

"I had a feeling."

She stuck her tongue out at him and he laughed, "Even us skips get them on occasion."

Bonnie took a sip of the tea had sent her home with, marveling at the change in her relationship with her father. One ill-timed trance, one conversation and everything was in the open: Bonnie's powers and a less than ordinary family history. "Dad, would you ever have told me if I hadn't..."

Hadn't had a trance in the kitchen in front of her parents? Hadn't started waking the whole house up with nightly screams? Hadn't done a variety of other bizarre things like install a lock on her closet door to keep the dark at bay?

Her father smiled, "I don't know, Bonbon. Your mother would have had us keep pretending, but I would probably have given you this anyway."

She perked right up, excitement bubbling up in her. "This? A present?"

Her father laughed, Bonnie at her heart was an eternal optimist, a bubbly girl whose fears and dreams only kept her down as long as she wasn't distracted. He went to the bookcase where the family bible was kept and pulled out an old leatherbound journal. He looked nostalgic as he dusted it off, "Your Gran left you her diary, it's about time you had it. She wrote it when she was about your age, traveling Europe as a very wealthy lady's companion, basically a personal secretary. She talks about a lot of things: meeting your grandad, her adventures with both the normal and the not, and a lot about her dreams."

He handed Bonnie the diary and Bonnie felt the whisper run up her arms and into her mind. He'd read it, he wasn't supposed to but his mother had known he would. She looked up at her father, "Did you enjoy the read?"

He blushed scarlet and Bonnie laughed. She'd gotten not only her blush but her damning curiosity from him. His voice was sheepish, "I only read the part she mentions in the dedication to you."

Her fingers itched to flip the book open and devour it, but a little of her new self control held her back. She would read it in her bedroom, where she could guarantee to not be disturbed. She took a long sip of tea, looking down at the book.

"Thanks, daddy!" Her self control broke and she popped up out of the loveseat; she had to read it immediately. She headed for the stairs, diary in one hand and the sleeping tea left behind.

"Bonnie?" The tone of his voice froze her, she swung around. He looked puzzled and hesitant at the same time. "Who's Damon?"

The diary hit the floor and Bonnie was too shocked to pick it up, hearing her father speak his name was like a sucker punch to her heart. Her father….her father knew Damon's name. Wild panic, how, how did he know. "Did you read my diary?"

He looked even more confused, "No, your Gran's…"

Bonnie's wide eyes dropped to the book on the floor, staring at it like it was a snake. Something twisted inside of her: this was going to change things yet again. She gingerly picked it up, wondering if her Gran had anymore tricks up her sleeve.

"None, or not that I know of." Her father answered.

She started, she hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud. She had to break that habit.

"Damon?" Her father prompted again.

She suppressed a touch of hysteria, it came out a giggle. How to describe Damon to her father? He was an enemy turned ally turned friend turned something more in her heart? Or simply that he was Elena's?

"He's….he was a relative of Stefan's, Elena's boyfriend." It was so hard to get the past tense words beyond the lump in her throat.

"He must have been old when he passed."

She lost it, giggling uncontrollably gasping out her answer between giggles. "You…have…no….idea."

She ran up the stairs, fleeing the bizarre conversation before she started to confide about her real senior year. She froze at her doorway, fear thrumming in her heart. Logically she knew that her room was perfectly safe and was not the room from her dream. But Bonnie wasn't good at being logical, so all she could see was her room splattered with so much blood it made Vickie Bennet's look tame, a mauve skinned demon laughing with joy as he surveyed his handiwork.

One, two, three and she shoved the door open. Her room was just her room, no blood and no obvious demon. She warily checked the closet and under the bed to be completely sure, then she laughed at herself.

She settled into her bed, propping up the pillows to perfection before she softly picked the diary up. Her heart started to race again, but this time it was in anticipation. She turned the page and smiled; her Gran had written the dedication in purple gel pen, one of a pack of pens a younger Bonnie had thought were a perfect gift.

_Dear Bonnie,_

_I know you're afraid and I wish I could be there in person to help you with all of this. But I can't, so I've left you what power I had and this diary to help you learn about it. By the time you get this, you will have learned that this world is not easy, kind or fair and you'll have seen plenty of darkness. But remember, all that is black is not dark and that kindness exists in even the cruelest of places. You'll find your strength when other's fails, your bravery when you realize nobody will save you and your kindness when everyone else turns their backs. You are not weak, Bonnie, and if you convince yourself of that this gift will rule you. Use it wisely._

_Love, _

_Gran_

_P.S. Read April 17th, 1929 first and see what a small world it is. _

Bonnie took a deep breath, swallowing the tears that the small letter had evoked. She had found those things fleetingly: strength when facing down Klaus, bravery with Shinichi and kindness with Damon. But her Gran's words carried no assurances that Bonnie would be safe, or that she would ever be anything but terrified.

She flipped the pages, furiously scanning the dates until she came to the April entry. She read the first words, part of her slipping back in time, pulled into the emotions radiating from the page.

_I met a vampire last night. There, that's out in the open. We arrived to the party late, like every other engagement we attended in Rome. Mrs. McDougal told me to enjoy myself and dance the flamingo (both of which I did). I'd been thinking about how much I missed Brian, and how many days until we took the boat back to Scotland and how many days after that until he proposes._

_Then the gift presented itself, I was being watched and he had power. It wasn't hard to pinpoint who it was: black hair, black eyes, big black psychic shield. He was beautiful, but Granna said all of the nightwalkers were._

_It took him awhile to make his way to me, two glasses of proseco for me. He kissed my hand and I saw two clashing swords and a lapis lazuli ring furiously spinning between dark and light until finally coming to rest along the border. A soul half in the dark and half in the light._

_His name was Damon and he clamed Florence as his birthplace. I smiled, impish and brave, "And where did you die?"_

_There was only the slightest pause as he lifted his glass to his lips. "Florence." _

"_How?" It slipped out before I could stop it, but I didn't feel any anger radiating from him. Only a strange thirst._

"_My brother killed me over a woman." _

"_How romantic!"_

_He was charming, diary, but I wasn't fooled. A bit tipsy perhaps, tipsy enough to be risky and curious enough to not be able to stop myself. He tried to use his power on me, my own rebuffing it. "You don't have to do that, you know. I'm going to let you."_

"_Let me what, cara?" We were dancing our way outside onto the patio._

"_Have a taste." I couldn't stop myself from giggling._

_He handed me another glass of proseco, guiding me to one of the outdoor chaises. "And what exactly are you, picolla rosa?"_

_What was she? A sister, a witch, a telepath? She glanced at the stars, her stomach churning. "I'm gifted, amongst other things."_

_He didn't ask about his future the way most people did. Instead he looked at her carefully for a long time. "You aren't near afraid as you should be, bella."_

_No, she wasn't. She'd been afraid for a long time, but that was before she'd simply accepted her gift and her life path. He didn't seem to like her nonchalance. "I could kill you, bella, before you had time to scream."_

_She smiled absently at him, opening up a bit of her shield so that he could see the power churning underneath. "You think I wouldn't see it coming? Wouldn't prevent my own death with yours?"_

_He smiled, slow and catlike. "We could have fun together, you and I."_

_But her gift whispered, no she wasn't the right redhead for that. _

"_I can show you.." and all she could see was the stars in his eyes, there was no fear in her, no time for it. _

_There was only glorious euphoria, her and him and nothing else. But her gift would leave no moment sacred and she was pulled into visions of this man. Blonde hair, blue eyes every combination imaginable and yet none of them winning. That path he would try again and again only to end up alone in the shadows time after time._

_The edge of the world, a cloud of red hair and a terrified earnest heart shaped face. ' A shame that she wouldn't even survive this.' A shame that he would never get a taste of Bonnie's delicate bouquet.' _

_A bloody bathtub, a squeal of "I'm alive" and something beginning to burst inside him, chunks falling away madly. _

_Anger, pure and icy anger as he held her arm, "You don't know anything about me…." He was regretting it before he finished the first sentence. _

_Wind swirling around them, stars surrounding them as he clutched her painfully close. Part of him still panicking, part furious, part relieved and the biggest part melting. _

_The warmth at her neck disappeared and she came back to herself. Her legs were shaky, but her secrets were safe. Ever the gentleman he sat her down on the chaise lounge, his skin thrumming with a light glow. _

_She studied him carefully, but he showed no signs of seeing what she had. He gave her a dazzling smile, "You look thoughtful, cara. See anything interesting on your journey?"_

"_You didn't come along?" Testing the waters._

"_No, I prefer to enjoy the present that dally in the future." She shook her head at him, thinking that this sister celt was going to have her hands full. _

"_Do you know a Bonnie?" She would know this Bonnie someday, she knew that into her bones. _

"_A Bonnie? What's that Celt for? A girl or a place?" The word was just a word here and now, not the unrecognized salvation it had become in his future._

_She stood slowly, faking steadiness, giving him a smile. "Take a break from the blondes. You'll be surprised what else is out there."_

_He gave her a blinding smile in return, "Ah bella rossa, you make a strong case for fire haired beauties." _

_She laughed and laughed. _

…..

Bonnie wiped at her tears impatiently, that had been far too real for comfort. She thought her heart might burst with happiness at knowing that he'd felt something for her and break with regret that it was too late. She hiccupped, noting the small annotation made in purple gel pen some 60 years later.

_He's always answered your call, Bonnie. That will never change. _

She was never going to run out of tears, of that she was absolutely certain. They poured down her cheeks and Bonnie let herself fall into their numbing embrace for a time. She'd always found it easier to cry or faint than to actually face what she was feeling. Oh how she'd loved him, so different from Elena's love for him, but just as, perhaps more powerful.

…...

Eventually she came back to herself, back to the words on the page. Hope sparked, once, twice, then burst into a flame. She'd talked to Elena across dimensions, why couldn't she talk to him?

She paused, what if, what if he just wanted her to connect him with Elena? Her pause only lasted a second, that was a possibility and if it arose she would do it gladly with only a trace of bitterness.

Now the question was whether to go for out of body or direct trance? She fought her way back through implanted memories, looking at how she'd communicated with dead Elena. Dreams, mainly, a few trances. She found herself dialing the number automatically, impatiently listening to the rings.

"Hello?" Blurry, and groggy with sleep.

"Meredith!" Excitement bubbled out of her.

"Bonnie? What's wrong? Another nightmare?" Still groggy, but resigned.

"No, well yes, but no." Full on Bonnie babble, the next part hushed. "I'm going to try and contact Damon!"

"Bonnie I can't hear you." Meredith was more awake.

She repeated it, her heart deflating a bit at Meredith's sigh and drawn out "Bonnieeee….."

Meredith would not dampen her enthusiasm with this. "No, Meredith! I talked to Elena when she was dead, remember? Aaaand she had died as a vampire, so don't use that excuse."

There was silence at the other end of the line and Bonnie could imagine Meredith pushing her brows together as she calculated a response. Finally her voice was reserved, "Shouldn't you talk it over with Elena?"

Bonnie cut in, bitterness coating her tones. "She doesn't own him, you know."

"No," a calm, cool, logical response, "But she would want to be there."

"No." Bonnie was surprised at the forcefulness of her own response. "He answers when _I_ call, not when she demands."

There was three beats of silence, "Bonnie.."

"I have to, Meredith." Desperation was causing the tears to bubble in her throat.

"Be careful," Meredith murmured, "And don't be disappointed if there's no answer. This…this is different."

She heard what Meredith wasn't saying, that even the Guardians hadn't been able to bring him back. But she was high on her Gran's confidence, unstoppable. "I will. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow."

As Meredith murmured her goodbyes Bonnie was already trying to sleep with a determined effort. Sleep wouldn't come, no matter how she laid she was simply too excited. She would have to retrieve her tea.

Bonnie steeled herself, mentally preparing for the sprints she would have to do in the darkness: down the stairs, across the living room then back, without spilling the tea.

She flung open her door and almost stepped in her mug of tea. Her father must have left it there on his way up. She smiled, then chugged the sleeping tea. She made it to her bed, barely under the covers before sleep took her.

...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to VD :)

Summary: Bonnie gets a gift that has to do with Damon. Stand alone or companion piece to "The Conversation". Set after _Midnight._

Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews! This will mark it as complete, though with a few loose ends. If I have free time I might make it into a fullblown story, but I'd rather tie it up in case I don't have the time. :) Sidenote: I've lived in Rome, so I apologize if the references are there instead of Firenze.

….

She looked around the ashy plane in confusion at first, slowly remembering why she was here. "Damon? Damon?"

He materialized out of the ash cloud, his voice smooth. "You called?"

"You answered!" Her voice was incredulous even as her small body impacted his, clinging with all of her might.

He hugged her back, his confusion spilling out only at the end. "I always answer when you call, redbird?"

"Yes, yes!" She agreed to all of the above, unable to stop clutching at him. She could talk to him, he wasn't lost to her even in death.

He brushed a strawberry curl from her head, "You're stronger than you were."

Tears brimmed over, pouring into his chest. Bonnie was surprised she'd lasted this long, but all the same her voice shook. "I can't stop it, it just…just keeps growing inside of me. The more I trance the stronger I get."

A soft sigh into her hair, "That's how power goes….Your tears are stronger too. Stronger than Elena's now…though she's stopped crying."

Elena's name grounded her, there would always be Elena with Damon. Bonnie wasn't sure what to say. That Elena had known death and grief before so it was understandable that she moved on faster? That she'd thrown herself 100 percent back into loving Stefan? She chose the truth. "Stefan's taking her to Italy, to show her Florence, to show her his life…..and yours."

She felt his arms tense around her, then felt him forcibly relax the muscles and release her. Even covered in ash he was so beautiful it took her breath away. He quirked one dark eyebrow, offering his arm. "Care to walk with me?"

She took it, falling into step with him. If nothing else she had to apologize, to take the guilt off her chest. "I'm sorry you had to die for me, Damon. I was….I was incredibly stupid."

How many times had she apologized to him? Thrown herself at his feet in a fit of emotion begging for forgiveness? "You're not stupid, redbird, and I don't want to hear that nonsense again."

Tears burned at her eyes at his confidence in her, but she pushed them back. Her voice was small. "Ok."

A brilliant grin that slowly faded as his confusion reappeared. "Besides, I don't think I'm dead….Well, not anymore at least."

Bonnie's feet stopped walking, shock stilling them. But hope flared a second later, Elena had known when she was dead had even admitted it, her feet began to move again in excited jumps as she grabbed his hands. "You're not dead! You're alive!"

At first he merely smiled at her, but her excitement was infectious, her arms pulling at him surprisingly strong in 1/8th the gravity. Bonnie's squeals of joy pealing across the moon as they jumped wildly about. Just as infectious and even more unstoppable was the joy that had him pulling her close, his lips finding hers in a kiss to prove that he truly was alive, alive and not alone.

She was dizzy with joy and wild with emotion, feeling the sweetness spreading from her lips to her toes. Dizzier still, buzzing beginning in her brain, not the good kind of dizzy. Bonnie found herself pulling away with urgency and regret, someone else was going to take her brain in a second. "I've got to go, but I'll be back."

"Redbird?" He was clutching her, concern glinting in his black eyes.

Her voice was more urgent, "The channel is changing and the gatehouse," she pushed back in her mind, hanging on with all of her might as she flung out her arm, "…the gatehouse is that way."

He turned his head and their connection blew apart, his arms disappearing from around her as the world whirled.

….

The room was dark and her chair hard, Bonnie stifled a scream. There was no Damon here and whoever this was had stolen her from that beautiful place. A light turned on above her, causing her to blink.

Someone was circling her in the darkness, lapping at the fear it caused to bubble up in her like lava. "So this is the telepath I've heard so much about…..not exactly what I was expecting."

"Sorry to disappoint you." She hadn't intended to talk to this…this creature, but hadn't been able to stop her mouth. She was angry at it, it had stolen her from Damon.

Low laughter, the silky dark voice beginning another lap. "I didn't say I was disappointed, _mon chaton, _merely surprised that such a slip of a mortal girl is the one with enough power to talk across dimensions."

"Oh." Surprise washed over her, familiarity niggling at the nickname. Dumbly, she realized she was wearing a deep green gown.

Something touched a curl, causing her to flinch away in fear with her eyes shut. A chuckle, "Afraid? You should be."

Light flared around her, flashing behind her closed eyes. She was too terrified to open them, too curious to keep them shut. She peeked, catching a glance of the grand room she was in.

"Aren't you going to take a real look?"

She could feel the dark power pushing all around her, with a sigh she opened her eyes. It truly was an impressive room, it dwarfed all of the ballrooms she'd seen in the dark dimension. She would at least face this creature on her own feet, standing she slowly turned.

He was beautiful, chin length dark hair smoothed away from his bronzed face. But they were all beautiful in her dreams, the ones that came to terrify her, the ones that used her as a channel and the merely curious ones.

"You aren't dazzled." A statement, Bonnie couldn't tell if he was disappointed or surprised. Beauty meant nothing to Bonnie anymore, it signaled neither goodness nor evil. Katherine had been beautiful, crazy but beautiful, and Elena, achingly beautiful and oh so flawed. Beauty was only skin deep, just a more distracting way of hiding flaws.

"I've seen better." Her mind was still on Damon, her words flowing out exactly as she thought them. Just like always.

He laughed and laughed, deeply amused for the first time in a long time. Bonnie shifted on her feet, unsure, reminding herself that she couldn't always say whatever she felt like. These creatures were not her friends, they would not coddle her or overlook her statements. Here her words gave first impressions, here in this terrible dream they would be her only weapons.

"_Tres drole!" _He sobered, his eyes taking her in almost hungrily. "It has been a long time since we've had any laughter in this court."

"Court?" Her voice was wary, she would not be a jester somewhere, her hair was not clown red.

"_Oui. _You've probably heard it whispered about, the Infernal Court as they call us."

"Oh," her mind clicked on the French, "Sage! You remind me of Sage!"

He gave a half bow, which confirmed some sort of connection. "Sage, who would have us all kept far away from your lovely presence."

Bonnie managed a half smile, Sage, who'd become so protective over them. Sage who'd held her as they'd waited to be returned to Fell's Church, Sage who she'd climbed like a kitten.

"Why don't you come for a visit? I'm sure Sage….will be around."

She knew it wasn't an offer, not even a question, but she was bubbly enough to pretend otherwise and Virginian enough to be polite. "No, thank you. I've already got plans."

Time was running out in this dream, she could see the edges starting to waver. He sensed it too, but gave an unrushed smile. "I wouldn't worry too much about your plans."

She turned to go, feeling his deposit of power into her soul even from here. His time was up and he couldn't keep her here. His voice paused her, "Bonnie?"

She glanced over her shoulder, his voice had lost any pretense of friendliness leaving only the darkness, "Don't try to run. I'd hate to drag your friends into this."

Shaking she fled the room, hitting the doorway and fading into quiet sleep.

…

She woke to the sound of ringing, her voice thick with sleep as she stared at her door, "Who's there?"

The ringing went on and she fumbled for her phone, snapping it open. "Hello?"

"Bonnie! Did I wake you?" Meredith.

"Yes." She laid back into the pillows, letting her mind finish waking up. What had happened last night?

"Well, how did it go?" Curiosity was thrumming under the hesitant tone.

"What?" Bonnie asked distractedly, she was even stronger this morning, a frightful jump since yesterday.

"Did you talk to him?" Him, Meredith was careful with using his name now, afraid of the tears or the sadness it might strike in her two best friends.

Bonnie sat bolt upright, fully awake. "Yes! Yes I did! Meredith he's alive!"

Silence echoed down the phone line for a long time, until Bonnie prompted her. Meredith's voice was cool, collected. "I'm going to come pick you up in thirty minutes, then I think we should go to the boarding house."

"Ok. See you then." Bonnie was already out of the bed and heading for the shower.

Thirty minutes later she found herself climbing into Meredith's car for a silent ride to the boarding house. Meredith looked pensive, her face paler and drawn, she'd barely smiled since finding out about her brother.

She could take the silence no longer, "Think Elena will be mad at me?"

Meredith quirked an eyebrow as she parked the car, "What do you think?"

Bonnie stuck her tongue out, before getting out of the car. She glanced at Matt's car, "Called the Calvary?"

Meredith didn't seem perturbed as they headed for the front door, "I thought it would be easier for you to only have to tell it once."

Bonnie gave her a weak smile, and Meredith squeezed her shoulder before pushing the door open. They were all in the living room: Matt leaning against the fireplace, Stefan and Elena holding hands on the couch and Mrs. Flowers sitting in the rocking chair.

Bonnie licked her suddenly dry lips, everyone was staring at her. Some accusingly, like Matt and Elena, some serenely, like Meredith, and some simply hopeful, Stefan. "Hi…everyone."

Elena opened her mouth, but Stefan was quicker, calmer. "Meredith said you'd talked with Damon."

She felt like a trapped rabbit. She nodded, the words coming out jumbled. "The diary…I had to."

Meredith smiled, pulling her towards the loveseat. "Why don't you just start from the beginning."

She took a deep breath, trying to shake off the fear she felt, these were her friends. "I was given my Gran's diary, the psychic one, last night. She'd met Damon, written about him."

Silence, Stefan's voice slightly choked. "When?"

"1929, in Rome." Stefan shut his eyes as if in pain. Another time and another place his brother must have followed him, watching him from the shadows.

Bonnie shot him a sympathetic smile, "She'd left me at note at the end of the entry, encouraging me to try Calling him. So, after talking with Meredith, I did."

Her face lit up, "And he answered! He's alive on that moon, heading for the gatehouse!"

"Why didn't you take me?" It burst like a torrent from Elena, "Why? I loved him too, Bonnie. I'm the one who felt the stabbing in my heart before, he's tied to me."

It felt like a slap and she could feel tears stinging in her eyes, she looked to Meredith but there was no answer in her dark eyes. "I…I." She faltered.

Stefan came to her rescue, always the white knight. "She couldn't have if she wanted to, love. You're just human now, I'm the only telepathic connection you have left."

Bonnie gave him a weak smile, it was only since Damon's death that she'd realized that she and Stefan were kindred souls. They were bound to love the passionate ones and to feel the pain of their actions, bound to forgive them again and again.

Elena's voice was meeker, the question still eeking out despite the pain she knew she was causing Stefan. "Did he mention me?"

"Just that you've stopped crying over him." She regretted the words even as they were coming out, hated the hurt that flashed across Elena's face.

"I have not! I just, I just.." She denied it wildly, glancing around to find someone that would believe her.

Bonnie merely shrugged, Damon never lied about anything important. Meredith broke the silence, "It doesn't matter how you grieve, Elena. What matters is if he is truly alive and how he got to be that way."

The eyes swung back to Bonnie and she felt hot anger coursing in her. "He is alive! When I talked to Elena from beyond she was dead and she knew it the same way Damon knows he's alive even though he wasn't for a time."

"But how, Bonnie? How could he come back when even the Guardians couldn't do it?" Stefan's voice was quiet.

She turned towards him, "I don't know! There wasn't time enough to ask him, he only mentioned Elena and my tears."

Stefan looked thoughtful, his attention turning to , "Tears of a maiden, could it be enough?"

"I don't know about other dimensions, but tears combined with what was left of the star ball could very well have done it. Let me check with ma_ma_."

Silence fell while they waited, Matt pacing near the wall. She opened her eyes and shrugged, "She doesn't know, but he's not with the dead where she is. Though no vampires are."

"We have to go get him!" Elena's voice was urgent, she was pushing at Stefan to let her stand.

Their eyes swung back to Bonnie and she shifted uncomfortably, she wasn't the leader here. "I think…I think I should try to contact him again before we do anything else."

A thought pushed at her and she let it come, _While she still had time to_. She had to get out of this house, get away from the look in Elena's eyes. Elena wouldn't leave the subject, "You're taking me with you. I know you can and I have to go! I felt him die, Bonnie, felt the stabbing pain before he was even gone.."

Matt's voice was exasperated, "But you didn't seem to feel him come back to life, now did you?"

Shocked silence fell and Matt scratched the back of his head, as if he felt rude for defending Stefan when Stefan wouldn't defend himself. "I mean, trying to take you might not work or it might endanger Bonnie."

Bonnie cut across them, hating the pain on Stefan's face. "I'm going for a walk first, ok?"

She headed for the woods, unsurprised to find Matt had followed her. Stefan's voice was hesitant, "Bonnie?"

She swung around, he wasn't who she was expecting. "Hey."

"You alright?" He was always so concerned.

She gave him a weak smile and he smiled back, "Don't let Elena bother you, she's just upset. That's all."

Bonnie wasn't sure that anything nice would come out of her mouth, so she kept it shut as they walked. They were heading into the woods, heading for the small marker they'd put for Damon in the clearing where they'd battled with Klaus. Stefan tried again, "So you really think he's alive?"

"Yeah." She wondered what that would mean for Stefan and Elena, she was almost wistful that she wouldn't be around to find out. Stefan's thoughts had clearly turned from joy to what Elena would do. "It'll be good to have him back."

"Are you going to ask her to choose?" Bonnie was curious, now that Stefan knew just how strong Elena's feelings were for Damon and just how close they'd gotten behind his back.

Stefan was quiet a long time, "Would it really matter if I did? She's supposedly chosen to be mine throughout all of this anyway."

It was a valid point, Elena had always maintained her devotion to Stefan steadfastly even as she was sharing blood with Damon. He continued on, "What if they're connection is just too strong to break? I couldn't ask her to give that passion up."

Bonnie squeezed his arm in compassion, knowing what it felt like to watch someone you love dance with someone else. She thought back to what Meredith had comforted her with in the dark dimension. "Passion is just an excuse, it's what people with no impulse control call it to make themselves feel better."

He gave her a half smile, and she continued on. "Love is a choice, Stefan. A choice you have to make again and again, to chose to stay faithful, to chose to forgive even the most heart wrenching betrayals. You've chosen to love Elena, Stefan, that's bigger than any passion thing."

Stefan gave her a long hug, "You've grown up a lot, Bonnie, you should let that show more often."

She felt him tense, the soft change in his breath. "You're hungry."

Stefan released her, stepping back. "No, Bonnie. I'll just get something from the forest after we walk back."

She didn't fight with him like she once had, she knew it wasn't about not feeding off of her, but more about the tensions between him and Elena. "Go now. There's something I need to ask Mrs. Flowers."

She took off towards the boarding house, not giving him time to argue. Mrs. Flowers was waiting in the garden for her. "Would you rather talk her or over tea?"

"Tea." Bonnie decided.

She settled herself at the table nervously, this was a conversation she''d wanted to have for a long time. Mrs. Flowers made the tea, bringing two steaming mugs over. She sat, "Go on and ask, child."

Bonnie swallowed. "You've called yourself a white witch, you talk with your passed on mother. Are you...am I..."

Her courage faltered, the words trailing off in sputters. Mrs. Flowers took a sip of her tea, "I don't have what you have, Bonnie. Being a witch is a choice, having power is not. Oftentimes they go hand in hand, but not always."

Bonnie's stomach dropped, curiosity rising as a bubble in her lifting her back up. "Have you known others like me?"

A nod, "Your grandmother for one. She warned me you would ask, though ma_ma_ and I thought it would be sooner. You're more stubborn than we thought."

Bonnie managed a smile, it was funny how she'd forgotten that her gran had struck up a friendship with during her frequent long stays. "Do you know anyone besides my gran?"

Mrs. Flowers set her tea down, her expression grave. "Yes, Bonnie, I did."

Bonnie swallowed compulsively at the past tense, surely Mrs. Flowers was just very old? "Did? What happened to all of them?"

Mrs. Flowers held her eyes for a long time. "Channels are rare, dear one. Their flame attracts all sorts-"

Bonnie cut her off, the knowledge giving her some clue. "And the brighter they burn the shorter the flame lasts."

Mrs. Flowers nodded and panic burst in Bonnie's heart. The panic was taking over, her heart racing, her mind filling with blind fuzz. Mrs. Flowers voice was calm, "Drink your tea, Bonnie."

Mechanically, she did. It soothed her, the herbs forcing calm where she had none. She turned her wild eyes back to the white witch. "How bright do I burn?"

Mrs. Flowers didn't lie to her, didn't beat around the bush. "The brightest I've seen. More tea, Bonnie."

She chugged the tea, feeling the forced calm. Even it wouldn't banish the truth: she would be young and beautiful in her grave. She could see it now: white roses wound in her hair and white lilies clasped to her chest. A broken hearted maiden with all the blush of youth missing from her cheeks. Stefan and Damon in an eternal fight for Elena, though Damon would send flowers every month for the first fifty years. Meredith would cry for her and Matt...Matt would devote every touchdown for a long time.

Her eyes bulged, she missed the green room at the insane asylum, missed the future that wouldn't be. She cried, letting the tears take her. She cried for what could have been and what wouldn't be, she cried for the pain she would feel and for the cracks it would leave on her family, she cried because she'd be gone before she could see Damon again and cried because Matt would never understand. She bawled for Meredith and Elena, for the what ifs her father would face and she cried because she knew in the end her mouth would get the best of her. She wailed for Fell's Church and for the Dark Dimension, wailed for the Imperial Court where she would die.

And then, mercifully everything went black.

...

She woke to arms around her, ashes choking her. She coughed, spitting roughly. The arms tightened around her in response, "Redbird?"

"Damon?" She'd been crying at the table before this, how did she end up here?

He answered her unspoken question. "I almost tripped on you. You're upset about something."

She found that she still had tears, "I'm going to die, Damon. I'll never see you again."

His arms were like iron bars around her now, ice lacing his voice. "Not on my watch. I'll keep you safe, baby bird."

She smiled into his chest through her tears, remembering how he'd come to her in the middle of the night in the Dark Dimension to teach her to shield under Elena's nose. She had always been under his watch, since long before she knew it. But the smile turned sad, even here she couldn't keep her mind to herself. She wasn't safe under his watch, not with what was coming. Her voice was compelling, "Damon, promise me something?"

He spoke into her hair, "Anything."

"Never forget me." She wanted to remembered for forever.

She felt his smile before he pulled away, "Never, redbird. In Italy you can buy flowers in the dead of night to remember the dead. You can't buy a soda, but you can buy flowers."

Part of her swooned at the romanticism, almost tasting the citrus scented air of her gran's Rome. "You met my gran, you know. Rome, 1929."

His laughter startled her, "That wild celt woman? I should have known." He paused, turning suddenly serious. "I saw you then."

She gasped. "She didn't think you'd gone."

He rolled one shoulder, his eyes getting impossibly close. "As powerful as she was she was easy to fool. I should have recognized you..."

"What fun would that have been?" She could hear the hysteria in her voice. She hiccuped, "Did you ever see me as more? More than her friend?"

He didn't answer with words. He kissed her, his full lips explaining that he saw her more than Elena's friend. His passion hit her psyche in waves, telling her that he saw a Bonnie completely unrelated to Elena. The slight blending of their auras told her he saw a Bonnie that was powerful, a Bonnie that was unafraid, , a Bonnie that was beautiful and a Bonnie that wouldn't let herself die young.

She was ripped from the kiss in a splash of cold water, her last sight the gatehouse visible through the ash.

She might die before he made it back, but alive he would be. That was enough for Bonnie.

...


End file.
